Had my year end exams, few weeks back. Crucial ones, and they didn't go well. And I guess I'll stop this topic here itself, since there's nothing more to add.
Amidst all the tension and nervousness caused by my exams, there was a reason for celebrations: my Dad's 50th Birthday. A role model, an idol, and more than just a father.. a real friend who is there at all times, and a teacher who taught me Life's biggest values. And I couldn't even be in a mood to celebrate the biggest milestone of his life. But I'm glad he had a smile on his face the entire day. That apart, it felt good to have my sister back in Geneva, and with her around, we could plan a good surprise party for Dad.
But still. When you're surrounded by a big happy crowd, and that you're alone drowning in some sort of deep sadness, it feels weird... really weird.
Well, so maybe Mathematics wasn't the right choice for me, for undergraduate studies. I mean, by the time I realized I wasn't liking the matter, it was too late to change.. so I thought: "Why not trying to stick to Maths for the coming years? I might not like it, but I could still do a Master's in a slightly different subject"
But no. That is a silly thought. One should NEVER try to build an academic life based on something he/she doesn't like. Because it's one of the toughest things to do. I'm not saying it's impossible, since there are people who can shine in fields they never thought they would land in. But it's not easy.
And well, failing a year, may not be the end of the world. But it sometimes feels like it. The whole guilt, the whole questioning-yourself-on-where-you-went-wrong aspect, and just accepting that you were wrong: it feels awful.
And thus, I decided to change the course of my life entirely. I'm planning to go for a Bachelor's in International Relations, this September onwards. A better course, more interesting, and a more secure future. I guess now only I realize, why there are only a handful of students in the Maths faculty of University of Geneva.
Well, after that down period of my life, things are back to normal now. On summer holidays, and taking it easy. My uncle and aunt from Dubai have come to Geneva, and it feels good to re-visit the most beautiful parts of Switzerland with them. And now that I'm not re-doing my year in Maths, I will have a proper summer holiday, so I'm making the most out of it. Watching Hindi and English movies, following Indian cricket, and moreover, staying happy.
To conclude this blogpost, here's a quote:
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson